Do You Get Caught in a Cycle Of Reactivity?

Posted on February 2, 2012 by Lynnet McKenzie

Do you find yourself behaving in ways that make you feel ashamed or disappointed in yourself? Though we are all love at our core, we do not act this way in every moment. Sometimes, our best intentions turn sour. Have you ever wondered why this happens?

We often behave badly because we have an unmet need to be loved. When we act from a place of NEEDING love from another person, we set ourselves up for disappointment and pain. No one can ever meet such a need. And when you act from a place of needing this love, the energetic vibration that comes from you brings out everything BUT love from the person you want it from.

NEEDING love from someone else can make you very reactive to every sign (whether real or imagined) of NOT love. So often, people get caught in this cycle of reactivity.

You reach out to someone with what you believe are the best of intentions, but you are unconsciously NEEDING love from them. The “love” may be in the form of appreciation, understanding, agreement, or approval. The need is felt by the other (also unconsciously) and they are naturally triggered to put up a wall of defense. This wall usually feels like rejection, which is the opposite reaction you were going for. Instantly, both people are now in a triggered, reactive place and the interaction turns sour (or even explosive!).

Now let’s NOT beat ourselves up for beating ourselves up. Enough is enough. You need love. We all do. Hallelujah, the truth is that you ARE love. I AM love. Even in our most badly behaved moments, we are all love at our core. YOU are Love at your core! The love you seek is the love you ARE.

The solution is to love yourself. To do that, tap into the love you already ARE at your core. Feel this part of yourself that needs love, that feels unworthy, misunderstood, or frightened. Love this part of yourself.

If you do not, you will be stuck here forever. You will continue to suffer in your relationships and sabotage your successes. No one else can get through to you until you open on the inside. It is a choice.